Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Mixed With

A year ago, today... we MET our little girl face to face. Hard to believe 1 whole year has passed since our first "meet"... but it has.

We still remember walking into her little room in the orphanage... the anticipating feeling of anxiety mixed with excitement mixed with "is this really it?" feelings mixed with "Wow. we could be meeting our daughter" mixed with fear and a little doubt... I thought I was going to puke the first time I met Charlotte... in fact, I wasn't the first one to hold her... Dada went straight to her to grab her out of her nanny's hands and she GLADY accepted his embrace. I was still unsure... in fact, I was unsure of my feelings about Charlotte until a few weeks AFTER we had met her (before we broke her out of the orphanage). It's hard for me to describe the feelings I felt that very day...without it sounding HORRIBLE... or without bringing back an awful feeling inside. My connection/love for Charlotte has only grown with each day that has passed... and I'm so grateful for that. I was frightened... I was honest to goodness frightened. I KNEW God wanted me to be her mother, but I was SO unsure of how to take on this little being... this little one that was SO developmentally delayed and had physical ailments. But then a few days (maybe weeks) later, this little voice inside just said, "You just HAVE to... I've given her to you... show her the way, I will do the rest." and that's when I just gave it ALL to God...

We are crazy dirty and terrible sinful people, but God STILL loves us... he STILL wants us to be His children... He still LOVES us regardless of what we do... it's His choice to do this, and He wants us to know of His great love... friends, adoption couldn't depict His love clearer... we don't HAVE to love Charlotte... but we CHOOSE to. We didn't just "happen" upon her... we sought her out... and He seeks you out each and everyday.

A year ago today, was the day that the journey of falling in love with my daughter, began. God has "lent" her to me, to take care of, to love on... to share His love with, and He couldn't have placed a sweeter little one in our lives. She is a Davis through and through.

A year ago when I met our little girl... I was able to place my pointer finger and thumb (as seen in the photo below) around her thigh...

Now I can only do that around her ankle... see what a little food and love can do for a little one?

A year ago... she walked into our lives, and rooted herself in our hearts... and we can't even imagine how we'd ever go back to life before her... okay, maybe we'd get a little more sleep... but where's the fun in that?

"Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone"

- Never Once, Matt Redman
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  1. love that song! it's a good one - but i love this story even more so. i celebrate with you, friend - and am so glad to have been a witness to this journey. :)

  2. I love following your families journey. You are fabulous parents to that little girl! I can't wait to read more!

  3. A journey of faith, for sure.


  4. Oddly enough I was reading about adoption in Galations this morning! It made me think about how God has , like you said, CHOSEN all of us. So, not only is He pro-adoption, He's ALL FOR IT! (And, as Ryan points out, Joseph adopted Jesus!)

    Also, that horrible/awful feeling from a memory of something in your "mommy life"? Normal. Every mom has at least one.

  5. I cannot believe it's been a year since you met here. I remember those photos of her scrawny little legs.. what a lovely, plumped up little girl she has grown into in the past year! She is so blessed to have you and J as mommy and daddy.

  6. Love it! Thanks for being honest, too. Our first meeting with Isabel was terribly awkward and left me unsure as well. Aren't you thankful that love grows? God is so good to us!