How would I ever be able to nurture this little one and give her all that her body craved... deserved? She was so tiny and frail for a 3.5 year old... only weighing 18 lbs. Her eyes were completely blank, as though there was nothing in them... but she didn't seem nervous at all. She seemed open to us... the nanny was holding her, and my husband... oh my sweet sweet husband... he went straight for her. With no hesitation... he dove right in, with open arms, and she went willingly to him, while I just stood there and watched. He cried (sorry honey, I know that might embarrass you to share with everyone, but it was exactly what I needed at the time, to sort of reassure my mind) and immediately stated that she was "our daughter", no doubt about it. I just stared at him, with a racing heart and watched him love on our little girl... He was so brave. I was so jealous of his courage... We could have continued on, on our journey, and met other little ones at different orphanages. They give you 3 visits before you have to decide... but my husband already knew in that moment... and I had to let go of that fear. I trusted what God was telling him, and what He ultimately was telling me... that my mind needed to let go, to trust my heart. It took a few weeks, but it happened. And I let her in...
2 years later... I wouldn't have dreamed of having any other little girl as my daughter.
"Come away with me... come away with me... it's never too late, it's not too late, it's not too late for you... I have a plan for you... I have a plan for you... it's going to be wild, it's going to be great, it's going to be full of Me."
This made me cry Karen. She sure is beautiful and I have loved following your journey. I would like to give birth to one more baby and then possibly adopt a 4th child and your story inspires me. And I think it's incredibly sweet that your husband cried. I think mine would have too.
ReplyDeleteTears in my eyes, too, Karen. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post. So many prayers for y'all, I remember when you were traveling, and when you were "making up your heart (instead of your mind)" about this precious girl...
ReplyDelete18lbs??? WOW!!! That SO put's it in to perspective, too... our little L (who is just now 10 months) weighs about 19lbs... even with me having, by all accounts, a big baby he's not "big" for his age (at least not weight wise) anymore... he's just above average (but not much). Unbelievable. What a long way you all have come. Such an exciting journey. Thanks SO much for inviting us to your world, to come alongside... to peer in at such a beautifully unfolding "love story." ~CB in PC
What a beautiful post. I am so happy you all found each other.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! I have tears in my eyes, too.
ReplyDeleteIt's so wonderful to see how much Charlotte has grown over the last two years. I have no doubt that you are the parents she needed and that He knew exactly what he was doing. It's so touching to hear about your husband's reaction - what a wonderful man! Thank you for being so open and honest with all of us about this journey!
ReplyDeleteShe is stunning, thanks for sharing your journey, adoption is such a gift!
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